Jared Axelrod

Everyone Gets To Be Juliet, sent from the phone

Inspired by the lovely and talented Miss Katie West, I am offering up myself to answer your most pertinent questions. These questions could be about me, they could also not. I have a wide range of knowledges, and very little compunction about sharing said knowledges.

Photo by Jason Adams

How does one ask a question, you ask? Well, I’d say you’re already off to good a start, but here’s 5 from the incomparable Shellefly, so you can get the hang of it:

1. How did you go about learning the sideshow tricks you know now?
Practice, mainly. Sideshow stunts are remarkably straightforward; there’s no slight-of-hand or hidden workings. All it takes is practice, and a high pain tolerance. Mainly the high pain tolerence.

2. Tell me about meeting JR and how you felt about her when you met her.
This is a question I get asked alot, because I suppose it’s one of those “couple things” that we should really have a story about. The funny thing is, I do not remember our first meeting. She does, however, and while the details of her story are certainly accurate, I do not remember the meeting happening. I like to believe instead that she has always been a part of my life, and that’s why a “first meeting” to me seems fuzzy. She was always there, and I have always been in love with her.

You should ask her about the story, though. It’s kinda funny.

3. If you could give superpowers to someone who is living right now and it was not yourself, who would it be, what powers, and why? (I had to ask you a superhero question)
Flight and superstrength, to JR. So she could carry me into the clouds.

4. What is something you like to do that would surprise many of your friends?
Knitting? Is that surprising? I have a tenancy to knit. During roleplaying games. If that’s not surprising, um. I don’t know. I like to play basketball, but haven’t it forever? I’m a pretty open guy, so this is a hard one.

Oh! I know! How about I’m not going to answer the 5th question until tomorrow? Surprise!

Aspic Pea Soup, sent from the phone

Preparation for the 3rd Annual Avante Guard X-Mas Dinner has begun! This dish, while beautiful, will not make the cut.

sent from the phone

We used to tell the tourists the Franklin Jars hold the dreams of the founding fathers, encased enternally in pure electricity. Used to, until that one broke a few years back and the nightmare that slithered out decimated the Eastern Seaboard. Now we just pretend they don’t exist. But if walk by them, you can still hear their soft songs, their laments of their lost brother and their curses of Ben Franklin.

Sent from the phone.

Marcus ran this place on Dragon’s Blood. It was the last place you get the thick, mud-like coffee that would keep you for days on one sip. Marcus drank the stuff 24 hours a day, until his heart burst from his chest and strangled him. They found the heart 3 states away, shacked up with a stripper named ‘Menthol.’ The heart was unrepentant.

Lentils, wild rice & popcorn crumbs, held together with a mushroom-cream sauce.

See, Cobra Commander can dress like an adult. Why can’t you?

JC Hutchins & myself, taking off after Balticon

Photography by JR Blackwell

Never forget.