Jared Axelrod

Sometimes, mythical creatures burst into being. The borders between fiction and reality are thin, and sometimes—like, say 2am on Saturday—they appear to you. Just such a thing happened to JR and I tonight, on our way home from Shadowland (which, frankly, is a little too fitting). Standing by the side of the road, looking lost and forlorn, stood two creatures out of myth and legend.

I speak of course, of the Magical Pixie Dream Girl. One is rare indeed. But two? That, my friends, is nothing short of a miracle.

These two beautiful young ladies in their tiny black dresses and ballet flats flagged down our car, asking us if we could drive them to 3rd and Chesnut. One of them, the brunette, had left her credit card there. Seeing no harm in driving two tiny twenty-somethings a few blocks, JR and I agreed, and they climbed in.

“We’ll give you money,” the blonde said. I assured her that would not be necessary. Both of the girls were clearly smashed out of their skulls, though the blonde more so than the brunette. She was the louder of the two.

“What’s your favorite bands?” she asked. “Top three. C’mon!”

We admitted that we did not actually know our favorite bands—it’s one of those questions that really should have come up before but hadn’t, and we tried to steer the subject away. But neither girl was having it.

“How long have you been dating, if you don’t your favorite bands?” the burnette asked. We told them we were married, which was met with squeals and clapped hands. “Tell us your bands. We’re music snobs.”

It then came out that my current favorite bands are, in fact, The New Pornographers, The Veils, and P.O.S.—the last two the brunette had not heard of, and it blew her mind—and JR’s were Ani DiFranco, Regina Spector, and she was cut off before she could get out a third.

“Those are so awesome,” the brunette said. “Are you a feminist?” JR said that yes, she was. This brought more squeals of joy from the two girls.

“VAGINAS!!!” yelled the blonde, her head out the window. “VVVVVVAAAAAAAGGGINAS!!!!”

The conversation then turned to how awesome I am—“So awesome”—and how hot JR is—“So hot”—which then led to the inevitable question. Would it be okay if they made out JR?

“You’re so hot,” said the blonde to JR, to which the brunette agreed. “Let’s make out. Would that be cool?”

“Lay off,” said the brunette. “They said they were married.”

“She can do it if she wants to. Look at her. She’s so hot. She’s got his balls in her hand.” JR protested that she does not like to make out with people she doesn’t know. “It’s because you think I’m ugly, isn’t it?”

“Not at all,” JR said. “You could be a model. If you told me you used to be a model, but you quit to go to school, I would have believed you.” I agreed with this.

“So I not pretty enough for you,” the blonde said, pouting and following her own train of logic. “I just want to make out with someone,”

“I’ll make out with you,” said the brunette.

“Shut up, Allie.” This was the first mention of either of their names. Katelyn and Allie. We pressed for more information. Allie liked Led Zepplin, but recently was turned on to folk music (“My friends from college would kill me if they knew I was into folk music”). Katelyn was a die-hard follower of Bob Dylan.

“My mom toured with Bob Dylan,” Katelyn said. “And my father toured with Eric Clapton. That’s how they met. And then, they fucked,” this was punctuated with a clap, and then a collapse back into the seat. “And that’s how I got here. I am so smashed. I just want to get something to eat, make out, and get fucked. Can we go back to the hotel?”

Making out and getting fucked was floated up several times—with the suggestion all four of us would be involved—and it was the combination of that and the notion of a hotel that became clear that these were no ordinary girls. These were Magical Pixie Dream Girls, the mythical creatures bi-curious couples seek out, hoping to add a third sexual partner for a night of debauchery, only to disappear back where they came from (in Katelyn and Allie’s case, that would be the Bronx), never to be seen from again.

These unicorns, these centaurs, these nymphs of legend were in the back seat of our car, pleading with us to talk about bands and make out with them and take them back to their hotel.

Naturally, we dropped them off at their originally specified destination (though not without circling it three times), and sent them on their way.

“My vagina’s hanging out,” Katelyn said as she got out of the car, adjusting her skirt. “Do you guys want money?”

No, Magical Pixie Dream Girls. The story is payment enough.

Local theater group Plays & Players have started a series called Super Heroes Who Are Super, staged readings of comics with costumes, props, and the appropriate combination of respect and silliness. Their first performance was the infamous “Boner Crimes” Batman story, which gives you an idea of the kind of comics they seek out for this series. I’ve seen two–they also did the first appearance of the Punisher, which proved that played straight, Frank Castle is far more funny than Spider-Man, quips and all–and loved them both. After talking with the organizer, I agreed to help out with the superhero suits for the rest of the series.

This month is the comic of choice is GREEN LANTERN #13 (June 1962): “The Duel of the Super Heroes!” the first meeting of Flash and Green Lantern, and after seeing my GL jacket, they asked if I could make a Flash one to match. So, I did.

There’s lots of charges from secret identity to superhero for both characters, so the director wanted something easily removable. I also made a Flash cowl and giant head extension (to mimic the cover). Dress rehearsal was Tuesday, so JR got some fabulous pics of the actors in costume.

Feel the power of the head extension:

I feel I should point out that is not the set they are going to use, but it makes a wonderfully surreal backdrop. More pics here.

It was so great to see the actors in the costumes. Doug Thomas, the actor playing Green Lantern, guy put his on an immediately struck a hero pose The director asked him how he felt in the costume. He said “I feel awesome!” He’s apparently been a Green Lantern fan since childhood. And Brian R. Caine, the actor playing Flash, was running all around the stage. The costumes really brought a physicality to their performance that they apparently didn’t have in the other rehearsals. Oh, the power of costuming.

Performance is this Saturday, the 14th at 10:30 on the 3rd Floor of Plays & Players Theater. Hope to see you there!

JR and I spend our days being insufferably pleased with our lot. Things are going well for us, and despite some bumps and shattered bones, it has been a fantastic year for our marriage. And what better way to celebrate it than by throwing in with those who, because of the law and the land, cannot enjoy what has made us so happy in the past 12 months?

As the saying goes, there but for the grace of the universe go we. Had I not found the perfect partner in J.R., it is entirely possible that I would be lamenting my inability to marry my boyfriend. Actually, it is far more likely that I would be lamenting not having a boyfriend, legal wedding march or not. But the sentiment would be there.

So when this March for Equality happened to fall on my wedding anniversary, it seemed appropriate to go and, well, march. And march we did.

The whole trip seemed fairly magical. None of the bumps and bruises that normally accompany travel were apparent. We got there safely, got a wonderful room at the hotel, then went down to the hotel bar to toast our good fortune of nothing bad happening.

And who should be at the bar, but three of the organizers at the march. I don’t remember their names, only that one looked alot like Mark Sheppard, and another resembled a more hard-core Mur Lafferty (imagine what Mur would look like after a lifetime of cage-fighting). The Mur-looklike was revealed to be a sargent in the LA police force, and was worried that not enough people would show up for the March. “We may only get 20,000,” she said.

There was a few more than 20,000.

The march was immense. I am told there were 200,000 to 250,000 participants, and I don’t doubt it. The crowd snaked through Washington waving flags and shouting slogals. “Obama! Obama! Let mama marry mama!” Signs declared that it was “Time to put a ring on it!” and that “My sister has more rights than I do.” Families marched together. Children rode on the shoulders of their parents. Old lovers held hands and kissed. The march was about legitimizing the love we feel, and in that, the march was full of love. I found myself thinking, “Why would anyone think this love was wrong?”

Why, indeed.

I wish I could express the absolute joy I felt as part of this march. I wish I could bottle it and send it to you. The feeling of community, of being part of a cause fighting a clear injustice, was electric and exciting.  Worth waiting hours in the sun to start, and worth marching the 2 miles or so to get to the Capital. There were speakers–Cynthia Nixon, Judy Sheppard, Lt. Dan Choi and we passed Alan Cumming, hanging out with his boyfriend–but that was icing. The march, the love that surrounded it, that was an event in of itself. That was all I needed.

I had my picture taken several times during the march, due to my fantastic sartorial sense. It’s always nice to be told you are dressed well at a queer event. The fellow who took the picture below said that I was so handsome that he would marry me.

“But I can’t,” he added. “It’s illegal.”

Hopefully, not for too much longer.

Thank you for making every day such a joy.

Well, you should. For these fellows are Bradley K. Wren, David Johnson and Justin Jain and along with Timothy Sawicki, they have created The Annihilation Point. Which you should go see. It’s a fantastically funny play about time travelers from the future trying prevent the destruction of the human race. Really, you will not find a more hilarious play about the apocalypse at the Fringe Festival this year (yes, that means you, Atomic Catwalk!).

I say this, not as someone who designed and built most of the props in the show (even though I did). I say this as someone who cares about you. Someone who wants the best for you. Someone who will bold as many words as it takes to get you to see this play!

I’ll be there tonight. Get your tickets while you can; they’ve already sold out Saturday.

Put the kids to bed–forever!

It was a Russell Davies blog post that alerted me to these mugs, which contain one of the best concepts spoken by a president, but with a helpful fill in the blank portion in place of the “go to the moon,” bit. JFK’s full quote is, of course:

“We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.”

The whole speech is here, but that’s the humdinger. “…not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills…”  That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?  Anybody can do the easy stuff. But it’s the hard stuff that defines us.

My wife and I have started embarking on couple of difficult things ourselves. One, is a new, tight budget that forces us to spend a lot less under the dream of spending more at one big go. Less comics every Wednesday, in order for a Hawaiian vacation (or a European one. Or a Japanese one)  It evens out, but it’s been difficult to stay within the narrow confines we’ve prescribed ourselves.  Difficult, but not impossible

But you know, we choose to do them not because they are easy…

Along those lines, we’ve decided to become serious about losing weight and getting into shape. We’ll both be thirty next year, and the goal is to enter our thirties in better shape than we entered our twenties—an easier goal than it sounds, considering how heavy I was at 19. I’ve been working out every morning, getting at least 50 push-ups in–if not some concentration curls and some lateral raise with the 20lbs barbell–before I stumble downstairs for breakfast. I’m going to purchase a bicycle (in case anyone was wondering where that costume commission money was going to) and JR’s gonna get her old one fixed up. We’ve streamlined our diet—not eating out as much for financial reasons has really helped with that—and all this eating right and exercising has apparently transformed us into one of those couples.

For example, just the other day, I said, in all seriousness, “It’ll be great to bike down to Whole Foods and pick up some protein powder.”

Clearly, we have past some point of no return.

Which brings up the question, if you do the hard often enough, does it become second nature? Perhaps, that’s the goal itself. Do we do it not because it is easy, not because it is hard, but because it’s effortless.

And damn, if effortlessness isn’t the hardest thing in this life to pull off.

So, I’m in the kitchen making vast amounts of soup and Kyle Cassidy calls up and says “You and JR wanna be in a photo shoot?”

“What would we have to do?” I ask, keenly aware that while my ankle has healed enough for walking, I can’t do much else.

“Just stand there while Trillian hovers in midair. Maybe look like you’re reading something.”

That, we decided, we could do.

After the bus stop fun was concluded, Kyle and Trillian invited us back to their place to watch ONG BAK 2. This sounded like a fine time to us, but we had to get back and finish our soups. We resolved to return for the film. Kyle oft handedly mentioned that he had was trying to figure out the proper lighting rig for taking pictures of con-goers World Con, and since we were going home anyway, if we wanted to bring some costumes back he would try out some lights.

How many could we bring, we ask?

“As many as you like,” Kyle said. “You bring 10, we’ll shoot 10.”

We brought 11.

Something about seeing all these fantastic pictures at once has caused me to reconsider both my costuming and why I do it in the first place. I’ve said that my interest in costuming is mainly sculptural, and I’m going take the next few days to look at these costumes from that perspective, and in doing so, pinpoint where I’m going to go next.

Oh, and if you’re going to World Con, you’re a fool if you pass up a chance to get Kyle to take your picture. He’ll be set up on Saturday, right at the top of the escalators at the 5th floor.

‘Cause mine was pretty awesome. As you can see:

The idea, of course was to do something different. I had held themed parties before, but I wanted to something…more. Inspired by the awesome costume soirées of my NC buddies, I decided it was time to step it up. There would be costumes, dammit! Oh, how there would be costumes.

If you were thinking that this whole theme was an excuse to wear the batsuit since I wouldn’t be going to Dragon*Con this year…well…you’re part right. It was really just an excuse to wear the batsuit.

This idea met some small resistance, of course. Luckily, we were prepared. I sent out an extensive list of “non-costumey” costume ideas, while JR met every “Do we have to dress up?” with a “You know what Jared wants more than anything? To be surrounded by his friends in costume.” Which is true, too.

Luckily, my friends did not disappoint. Daniel and Avalon were the first to arrive–before I even had my costume on!–and their Joker and Harley Quinn set a high bar for the costumes that followed. But the fantastic costumes continued right on up to Viv and Chooch’s Ventriloquist and Scarface, who arrived just in time for the cupcakes.

Thanks to everyone who came. I could have made mixed drinks in tights without you, but it wouldn’t have been near as much fun. And there wouldn’t have been robotic pandas or Beowulf readings, either, so there you go.

Pictures of the decorations, the present unwrapping and everyones amazing costumes are over at my Flikr. More pictures of the costumes are over at JR’s Flickr.

JR and I will spending the weekend at DexCon 12. JR is running her game Shelter In Place, at the coveted Saturday Midnight slot.  For those of you who have forgotten how awesome Shelter In Place is, here’s a refresher:

The Voice of Free Planet X, Episode 158: Gimmie Shelter from Jared Axelrod on Vimeo.

J.R.’s streamlined the game even more than before, making it a truly slick, cinematic experience.  I can’t wait to see it action! Plus there should be a chance to squeeze in some games of Contract Work by Russell Collins (yes, that Russell Collins) and Robert Bohl’s Misspent Youth.

Yeah, should be awesome.