Yeah, DC. When publishing your spread of already socially awkward White Lanterns, I’m glad you made sure that all the White Lanterns were, well, white. That’s not uncomfortable at all.
I’ve been busy with deadlines and grad school applications, so this spot of the internet has gotten a little dark and poetry-ridden. Such is bound to happen. Luckily, my brother Joel, industrial designer and snake-wine enthusiast, is here to pick up the slack. One of his latest concepts, the Bamboo Appetito cutting board, has been featured on no less than Yanko Design.
Joel has promised me one of these, but now that its gotten international notice, I may have pay for one.
Tomorrow is the chosen date for the first of what I am hoping is many IRON CHEF: PHILADELPHIA battles. I am incredibly nervous. The best way to decrease nervousness is to prepare in advance, but there is only so much one can do with the “mystery ingredient” remaining, well, a mystery.
Luckily, Jenn and Russell–dear friends, through and through–came over to do a test run. What mystery ingrediant did they bring? Why, none other than…ZUCCHINI!!! The timer was set for an hour, and we got to work!
This was a good test, as it gave me experience not only cooking on the fly, but also directing various sous cooks. Having twice as many people as normal also gave a good safety net, and allowed us to make not one, not two, not three but FIVE dishes in the space of one hour:
Zucchini Stir Fry
With yellow peppers, chantrelle mushrooms and onions. I put very little seasoning in this beyond hot pepper flakes and garlic. Zucchini has such delicate flavor, I didn’t want to overwhelm it. This was basically a hot salad.
Singular Ratatouille
A riff on ratatouille, only without eggplant and yellow squash. Thinly sliced zucchini baked with parmesean, olive oil and a chunky, bacon-infused tomato sauce. Probably my favorite dish of the evening.
Zucchini Mac & Cheese
Grated zucchini in a parmesean and goat cheese sauce, with whole wheat penne. While the goat cheese added a delicious creaminess to the sauce, it overwhelmed the zucchini. Still, so tasty I found myself craving it today.
Zucchini Stew
Zucchini and chicken stew infused with the flavors of bacon, curry, smoked paprika and pale ale. Despite the multitude of ingredients, zucchini did stand out in this hearty stew, just not near enough. Lesson learned: you can never add too much of the secret ingrediant.
Zucchini and Apple Puree
The puree was blended with cinnamon, vanilla and sugar, and topped with yogurt and shredded Gruyere cheese. The inspiration for this came from Jenn, who mentioned eating a zucchini pie that tasted like apples. I handed this one off to J.R., Mistress of Apple Sauce, and she developed an almost-puddling like puree that managed to be sweet and taste like the vegetable at it’s base. The yogurt and Gruyere added a wonderful creamy bite to the desert as a whole.
So, lessons learned? I only have one oven, so it’s use is crucial. If I want a cold desert, start it early. Salt is a friend, especially with watery vegetables. Dogfish Pale Ale is very sweet. Listen to J.R. about what cheese to put where.
All in all, a fabulous evening, a good test run, and a lovely dinner with friends. Who could ask for more?
For those who were curious about a rather large entry on the project list, yes, I am orchestrating an Iron Chef battle to take place this weekend. My opponent is not one to be underestimated, but I feel confident in my abilities. Not so confident that I haven’t been practicing, however. I’ve been trying out some flavor combinations–peanut butter goes surprisingly well with lamb, and manchego cheese goes well with…well, everything–and working on getting my speed up in the kitchen. I can now whip up a batch of orecchiette in an hour, should it come to that.
In addition to new food, we also got some some new plates, as you can see above. J.R. remarked that we didn’t purchase plates so much as frames, and there’s truth to that. They shall, after all, be holding art.
Rushed, delicious art.
That knife there is J.R.’s, also bought for the battle. She agreed to be my sous for this, on the condition that if she was going to be doing chopping, she wanted something serious to chop with. Some people might be intimidated by a knife that size. Not my wife, but some people.
The battle is set for this Saturday, at 4pm. Because no one has access to a kitchen stadium, we’re splitting up the battle between our two respective kitchens. I’m going first, so we’re starting at my place, and when the tasting and judgement of my dishes is over, we’ll go over to her’s and do it all over again. I’m extremely excited.
Audience members are welcome, but keep in mind that there’s not really much of a view into our kitchens and only the judges get to eat. We might film it, maybe. I can guarantee pics of the completed dishes, though.
Will my cuisine reign supreme? I sure hope so.
Yes, I am indeed going to New York Comic Con
It’s kind of hilarious, actually. Since New York Comic Con restarted in ‘06, I swore I wouldn’t go back. That was a promise kept for exactly one year, after which I returned, only to swear off of it again. And now I am going once again. Apparently, NYC cannot resist my wit and charisma, and keeps coming up with reasons for my return.
If you’re there, you’ll probably see me. I’ll be one looking stylish and charming publishers.
We’ve got a new president now, and he’s off to a promising start. I am attempting to temper my enthusiasm with skepticism, but it’s hard. I want to believe that this is a new dawn, that things will be different and we’ll all get a chance to start over.
That ’s the promise of every January, history-making president or not.
A few days ago, Mur Lafferty spoke on the power of daring to be stupid. That stuck with me. I wanted to do that. I wanted to follow through on every stupid idea that popped in my head. Problem is, I have quite honestly too many stupid ideas to realistically follow through with all of them. Don’t believe me? Here’s a list:
And I’ve labored on it since taking that photo, too. I’ll have to add another sheet by February, just watch.
These are mostly projects I’ve started and never finished. Some are last year’s. Some the year before. One goes as far back as 2002. And I put them on this list because I want to finish them. I’m tired of them lurking around in the back of my head, waiting to be completed. I don’t know how many will get done before the end of the year, but now with this list, I’ll be able to see which ones have and which ones haven’t.
The Dream is that by 2010, I start with a clean slate. I’m not sure if that feasible, but there’s no reason not to try.
After all, I have a whole year, don’t I? That’s the promise of 2009.
As most of the nerd-world no doubt already knows, the next Doctor Who is going Matt Smith. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this choice–a few minutes watching the video at the link show him to have that “young and old at once” quality the producers praise him for–but let’s face facts: this our 11th slim, white, male doctor. 11th. The closest we’ve had toward some sort of variety has been Troughton and McCoy’s height and Eccelston’s accent. That is to say, not very much at all.
While it’s clearly too much to ask for anyone other than a skinny pale man to helm the TARDIS, I feel that the producers missed out on a real opportunity here. Granted, Smith may be the second coming of Tom Baker, but I still can’t help but feel jealous of the alternate worlds where the 11th Doctor is not Smith but the rumored front runner, Patterson Joseph.
Or for that matter, Lenny Henry, who has had Doctor experience:
That should count for something.
My personal choice, however, has always been and always will be Emma Thompson.
But if our Doctor must be pasty and penis-bearing, can we at least get a change of pace? I mean, I know the Doctor is the ultimate nerd, but do would it kill the producers to play against type? I mean, how awesome would a Jason Statham be in the role?
“I reversed the polarity of the neutron flow, then I kicked the bastards in the face. Standard Time Lord Procedure.”
Sure, you’ve discovered it’s a wonderful life. But what about that bum on the street, the cynical grocery clerk, the failed actors, the suicidal police officers, the men who dress up like bats? Don’t they deserve to be dragged kicking and screaming to the true meaning of Christmas as well? Luckily, there’s Christmas movie for each and every one of them. Here’s 12 of my favorites of outsider-based holiday cinema:
Go
Sarah Polley, Katie Holmes, Taye Diggs and a whole host of other 20-something actors wander through Christmas Eve and the morning after to discover the true meaning of…well, drugs and tantric sex, mainly. The Christmas setting is peripheral, but it drives home the fact that the main characters are adrift without families, and when things turn to the worst—concerning a drug bust and Timothy Olyphant as a wolfish dealer—they literally have no one to go to but each other. Luckily, even in the hard, fast world of stripclub gunfights and day-glo-Santa-themed raves, there’s still room for a Christmas day miracle. Even if that miracle is just finding the friend you had left for dead alive underneath some boxes.
A Mid-Winter’s Tale
The flipside of GO’s technicolor cynicism, this black-and-white Kenneth Branagh film shows an equally unattached group of young people who never the less come together as a makeshift family. The conceit is a sort of method-acting in reverse, as the actors learn more about their characters, they learn more about themselves. Luckily, the play they’re putting on is Shakespeare’s HAMLET, so along with hugging and learning we get shouting matches and accusations, and a director/lead actor who’s slowly being driven insane by his cast. It’s a bitter comedy, which makes its super sweet Christmas ending all the more platable.
Peter’s Friends
While we’re on the subject of Kenneth Branagh, we’ve got this film, in which he pals around with Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry, Emma Thompson, and Imelda Staunton. I could describe the plot here, but there’s no point. It’s basically THE BIG CHILL, only no one has died, so there’s even less reason for these former college chums to be together at Christmas. It’s really just an excuse for these marvelously talented people to be funny. The serious moments aren’t near as powerful as the jokes, 
but casting this crew who have been friends for years as people who have been friends for years makes even the artificial elements of the film feel authentic. And any film with Fry, Laurie and Thompson is good enough for me.
The Thin Man
Like GO, this film has Christmas as a periphery element, and also like GO, it has a great morning- after sequence, with William Powel firing the ornaments of his tree with an air-pistol. A solid flick nonetheless, with Powel and Myrna Loy bantering like many movie couples would imitate and none would duplicate. Powel may not seem like an outsider, but watch how he navigates the Christmas party populated by Loy’s rich friends. He’s aware he doesn’t belong. Plus, isn’t solving murders the true meaning of Christmas? No? You sure?
Die Hard
In the immortal words of that thug’s sweatshirt: “Now I have a machine gun. Ho. Ho. Ho.” Maybe murdering badguys is the true meaning of Christmas? No? You sure?
Muppets Christmas Carol/Christmas Carol with Patrick Stewart/Lethal Weapon
We all love a variation of Dickens’ classic of the ultimate Christmas outsider; we must, otherwise how could you explain how it keeps getting remade? The Muppet version is without a doubt the most fun to watch, what with the various sidegags and Michael Caine being utterly horrible to the cutest CAROL cast ever. Patrick Stewart is a better Scrooge, though, and as much as I love Kermit, Richard E. Grant is also a better Bob Crachit. Though, the ghosts are better in the Muppet version, as you might expect. LETHAL WEAPON, however, may be the best adaptation of the source material, what with Mel Gibson’s Scrooge stand-in having to literally crush the life out of Gary Busey’s Ghost of Christmas Past, while Danny Glover’s Ghost of Christmas Future talks about how he’s too old for this shit. Gibson’s hollow-point suicide bullet gives perhaps the best Tiny Tim performance captured on film to date.
Nightmare Before Christmas/Edward Scissorhands/Batman Returns
For a man known for his dark movies, Tim Burton sure does love Christmas. Moreover, he seems overly concerned with people not celebrating Christmas right. Looking at these films together, it appears that 
Goddamn Batman and the other having, well, scissors for hands. Only Santa can save Christmas, according to Mr. Traditional Values, Tim Burton.
It wouldn’t be Christmas without an animated special, and while this doesn’t have Burl Ives as a snowman, it does have a drag queen, which goes a long way in might book. A teenage runaway and gambling addict fill out the cast of three homeless people who find an abandoned baby. Through a series of coincidences that would be out of place in anything but a Christmas movie, our three heroes find themselves reconnecting with their estranged families. Satoshi Kon, the director, is known more for the mind benders of PERFECT BLUE, PAPRIKA and PARANOIA AGENT. But he plays it straight on this one, giving a heart-warming outsider’s look at one of the most insular of holidays.
I feel like I should have all the puppets in one spot.
—————————————-VS———————————-
————————-WHO-WILL-WIN?—————————-
One of the puppeteers, Tee Morris was over at the house the other day–he and Philippa Ballantine are doing a signing a the Moravian Book Shop tonight, which is guaranteed to be a hoot and a half–and he gave a wondrous bit of improv with his puppet. I taped it, and will have it on the internets soon. Watching that character come to life like that made all the stress worth it. It’s really cool, having talented friends.
Something I should update on the site, in addition to Aliens You Will Meet LIVE on Saturday at 5:30 pm, I’m also on this panel:
Title: The Long and the Short of It
Description: How to write short stories, poetry, plays, and non-fiction within the realm of our genres–and get it published.
Time: Sun 04:00 pm
Length: 1 Hour
Which, you will note, is a writing panel. I’m not just a guest at Dragon*Con for my mad puppeting skillz, dontcha know? I also write stuff. And, as the panel notes, get it published. So there.
Also worth noting is that the SalonCon schedule is now up, with details about the salon JR Blackwell and I will be doing on the Victorian Sideshow. With the puppet show for Dragon*Con pretty much taken care off until we can get to the Con and rehearse, I should probably make sure all my needles are sharpened…
Tales of the Uncanny Valley
The Sovereign Era: Year One
Podthology: The Pod Complex
Triangulation: End of Time
Salt
