Jared AxelrodWriter of Adventure

Henny’s tumblr has the context, but c’mon. How much do you really need?

Yeah, DC. When publishing your spread of already socially awkward White Lanterns, I’m glad you made sure that all the White Lanterns were, well, white. That’s not uncomfortable at all.

The Batman of Planet X is beating the shit out of lawbreakers! FOR YOU!

‘ll keep answering them as long as you keep asking them.

I’m easy that way.

What inspired “Bitter Kiss of the Ronin’s Cup”? by cmdln

My own love of coffee and samurai tales, mainly. But the germ of the idea came from thinking about the future, and how we might eat on other worlds. We’re getting very good at mimicking flavors and textures, but there are some things I believe we will never get right. Coffee has such a complex flavor, tied to not only its freshness but also the surrounding in which it was grown. So it follows that these sorts of food would be the ultimate status symbol in a place where they could not be grown. Anything is luxury if you can’t get it. Coffee, originally a peasant brew used by goat herders to keep themselves awake, makes an eloquent commentary on that.

Also, as a former barrista, I feel it’s important to celebrate the craft.

How did you become so manly, Jared? by ctmiller

By not being afraid to flaunt my feminine side. Nothing more manly than a dude comfortable in his own skin.

What infuriates you?

Story bibles. They are the most seductive possible way to keep you from finishing a story. Unless you are planning a collaborative work of fiction, story bibles are distraction at best and a absolutely useless at worst. If your story is so needless complex that you need a document OTHER than your story to keep track of it, you need help that a story bible can’t fix.

I hate it when people say that they haven’t finished their first draft because they’ve been working on their story bible. HATE. Burn It With Fire hate.

Story bibles are essentially masturbation. Sure, it feels good when you’re doing it, but in the end, you’re just left with a mess you don’t want anyone to see.

If you were forced to choose, what would be your preferred method of time travel? TARDIS, Delorean, going to warp speed around a star, hot tub, etc? by chrismorse

I’ve never seen the show, but there’s no classier mode of chronological transport than the Omni from VOYAGERS. Made of shining brass and containing a highly detailed globe, the Omni clips easily to one’s belt, conveniently accessible in times of need. An accessory that’s also a vehicle, few time machines are more precise, or more stylish.

If you could make your friends do one thing, create one mighty and wonderful thing together, what would you make them do? (This is in some kind of ideal world where no matter what you choose they are all happy to do it.)

We’d found a nation. Preferably an island one. You know, for the beaches. But if the land mass was big enough that it had beaches on two sides, I’ll settle.

I wouldn’t have to be president, of course. It would be enough for me to be a Founding Father.

What gave you the idea to start a webcomic?

I’ve always wanted to do a comic strip. Since I was, like, 9. I drew several, but could never dig in for the long haul. When Mur asked me to do some stuff for ISBW, the first thing I thought of was a comic strip. I’d been wanting to work with Natalie for ages, so it all worked out.

9-year-old Jared would be very pleased with 29-year-old Jared. Not only am I writing a webcomic, but I also have a really awesome Batman costume.

Why do you think your opinions on fashion are considered by some to be controversial? (I don’t)

I’m assuming that it comes from me says that a t-shirt with someone else’s saying on it doesn’t really say as much about a person as one would think. That and people have gotten upset with me saying that they dress like children.

Which, you know, I can understand. No one wants to be told that. But I pass an elementary school every day, and all I see are kids dressed in jeans and t-shirts.

This is not to say that I don’t wear jeans and t-shirts. I do. When I’m playing.

What DC comics superhero do you most want to write? And which Marvel superhero?

I’ve said in the past that all I really want to play with is my own toys. I also seriously doubt that either company would give me theirs to play with, as what I mainly want to do is break them. I love reading classic superhero stories, but that’s not what I really like writing, y’know?

That said? Lois Lane and Blade.

what is your latest Cooking Adventure?

My main quest is the mastery of cacio e pepe, a pasta dish so simple it’s infuriating. All it is is cheese, pepper and pasta, but devil is truly in the details with this bad boy. Mix the cheese wrong, and you’re left with a gloppy mess. Mix right, and you’ve got heaven on a plate.

I think I’ve figured out the secret. But I’ll need another run at it to be sure.

Hit me. I can take it.

Your picture is under the definition of steampunk, but what defines steampunk to you?
I’ve written an essay on this: Rayguns In The Time of Cholera

Short version: A 19th century setting with advanced technology and themes of aggressive confrontation, anti-authoritarian behavior and the DIY atheistic.

But that’s just my personal opinion. As I’ve said before, we can be nerds and put everything in little boxes or we can include everyone and all have fun. And I am pro-including everyone and all having fun

How do we solve the Butt-Burning problem that comes with strapping a jetpack to your back? Special pants?
Most modern rocket belts have a burn shield, but I’ve always thought the easiest thing to do would be have the jets stuck out to the side like the starship Enterprise.

 Your socks. Are they awesome? Have you ever made awesome socks?
My socks tend to be more fluffy than awesome. So, in the sense that I have cold feet offen and my fluffy socks keep that from happening, yes. They are awesome.

They are also black. Which is an awesome color. So there’s that.

However, I was recently given a Sock Dreams gift certificate, so I should have some visually awesome socks in the near future.

you have some controversial opinions about fashion. did any one event in your life prompt you to have these views or did they just develop over time?
I don’t really think my ideas are that controversial. I believe that how you dress shows who you are to people, and if you dress the same as a 6-year old on the playground, that may affect that perception. I don’t think that’s particularly revolutionary thinking. Maybe it is.

When I was I college, I read the wonderful RuPaul quote, “We are born naked, the rest is drag.” Which I believe is true. Whether you dress up, down, or go naked, what you wear is part of your conversation with the rest of the world. So you should be sure you’re saying what you mean to say.

 If you had to choose a fictional world to be reborn into, which world would you choose?
FLASH GORDON, probably. I am prepared to take down that tyrant Ming and be occasionally shirtless!
 I’ve seen a lot of neat costumes that you’ve made, and of course there’s your new web comic on I Should Be Writing. But are you working on any writing projects nowadays? Anything you can tell us about?
See the answer below. At this point, all I can say is that it is awesome. And that it will most likely be podcast.

Okay, here’s more of tease: It’s about a girl who’s in trouble. In same way STAR WARS is about a boy who leaves home.

What turns you on?
New things. Shoulders. Collar bones. Muscles. Boots. Tight pants. Confidence. Musical voices. Shiny clothes. Eyes. Lips. My wife.

Have you ever gotten in a physical fight? What were the circumstances around it?
Oh, sure. But not since the schoolyard days. One kid says something aimed to hurt, and all you can think to do is throw a punch. Because as a kid, that’s all that makes sense.

But in adulthood? Only thing that comes close was a playful tussle with my wife’s then-boyfriend when I first moved to Philly. It got a little serious, but ended quickly when he banged up against a table. Which may have been my fault. In which case, I’m sorry, Rob. But even that wasn’t really a “fight.”

I have been told that I have an incendiary presence when angry that seriously frightens people. So things have never escalated to violence. I’m incredibly slow to anger in the first place, so that it itself is rare.

So, I guess the answer is “No.”

If you could make any costume, and expense were no object, what would you make?
I’ve got extravagantly detailed costumes in mind for half a dozen superheroes that I’ve calculated in the hundreds of dollars, but if expense were truly no object?

Space armor. Retro-fabulous space armor. With a working jet pack.

What is the next project that you are working on?
Something secret, which is also awesome. There’ll be an official launch at Balticon, so I’ll leak out more information as we get closer to that date.

It is awesome, though. Completely and incredibly awesome.

What is your favorite Superhero?
Batman, who I love both because of his incongruity (he’s supposed to be dressed as a bat, but really only the abstract sense of that, has no bat powers, and has obsessive need to personalize all his stuff)and his malleability. He’s Adam West and Christian Bale and Kevin Conroy. He’s a gritty, street-level avenger who regularly battles aliens. He’s a tortured loner who inspires a loyal following of younger heroes. You can alter just about everything about his costume and he’s still recognizable. He’s everything about superheroes that’s wonderful in one package.

What does Panda want for Christmas?
That’s really a question for Panda, isn’t it? But I will say that Panda, JR and I were watching KITCHEN NIGHTMARES (the American version, though Panda prefers the original British series), and Panda remarked that he would love his own restaurant where he could serve fine tea and delicious bamboo-based dishes. So, that’s clearly a dream he’s put some thought into.

I imagine that if Panda received a restaurant of his very own for Christmas he would be quite chuffed.
If you had to throw away either your TV or your computer, which would you choose?
I’ve already thrown out the TV, so I guess that answers that. That’s not to say I don’t watch television, just that I no longer watch it on a TV.

his is how I live my life.

s part of some half-thought out response to JR’s latest work of astounding fiction, an internet person of dubious merit asked if “Sex In The City”-which JR compares this piece to-was, in fact, “the show about three whores and their mom.” This is apparently a joke from “Family Guy,” but I’m having trouble parsing the humor portion. I guess there’s a show about three prostitutes and their mother? And the title is similar, so it’s like a pun? Google says no…

In any case, this naturally led us to consider what a television show about three whores and their mom would be like. Depressing, obviously. Even if it achieved “The Wire”-like arias of connection and insight, it would still be about three sisters driven to sell the bodies, and a mother who stood idly by or who acts as some sort of hellish harridan of a madam. Not exactly something I would choose while channel-surfing.

But, what if we change the phrasing a bit? What if it was about three sex-workers and their mom? Now we’re cooking with steam!

What if a pioneering transgendered pornographer, (played by none other than pioneering transgendered pornographer Buck Angel, natch) took in his kid sister who just graduated from college and wanted to be a dominatrix. And then their other sister moves in, after a messy divorce, and decides to devote her life to her real passion, writing erotica. Add to this a cantankerous-yet-wise matriarch who needs a place to convalesce after recent surgery, and you’ve got sit-com gold! It practically writes itself.

Man, I would so watch that. And buy the DVD. And hold theme parties.

I thought ninjas were rockers