Jared AxelrodWriter of Adventure

s part of some half-thought out response to JR’s latest work of astounding fiction, an internet person of dubious merit asked if “Sex In The City”-which JR compares this piece to-was, in fact, “the show about three whores and their mom.” This is apparently a joke from “Family Guy,” but I’m having trouble parsing the humor portion. I guess there’s a show about three prostitutes and their mother? And the title is similar, so it’s like a pun? Google says no…

In any case, this naturally led us to consider what a television show about three whores and their mom would be like. Depressing, obviously. Even if it achieved “The Wire”-like arias of connection and insight, it would still be about three sisters driven to sell the bodies, and a mother who stood idly by or who acts as some sort of hellish harridan of a madam. Not exactly something I would choose while channel-surfing.

But, what if we change the phrasing a bit? What if it was about three sex-workers and their mom? Now we’re cooking with steam!

What if a pioneering transgendered pornographer, (played by none other than pioneering transgendered pornographer Buck Angel, natch) took in his kid sister who just graduated from college and wanted to be a dominatrix. And then their other sister moves in, after a messy divorce, and decides to devote her life to her real passion, writing erotica. Add to this a cantankerous-yet-wise matriarch who needs a place to convalesce after recent surgery, and you’ve got sit-com gold! It practically writes itself.

Man, I would so watch that. And buy the DVD. And hold theme parties.