Jared AxelrodWriter of Adventure

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By Derek Zumsteg.

Read by Jared Axelrod (of The Department of Public Words).

“I read an interesting forum post last night,” my electric toothbrush told me over its low burr.”
“Thiff ouff thew be thood,” I said through my mouth of foam.
“It was!” he replied. “Using readily available components, Monkeymonkey turned his Intellibrush into a milk frother.”
I spit into the sink and set my toothbrush in its white ceramic charger. “What would I do with a milk frother?”
“Make cappucinos,” my toothbrush said, with a hint of resignation, as I rinsed and spit again.
“I don’t drink cappucinos,” I said.
“You could start!”

Rated G. Contains a very mild reference to vibrating appliances.

Referenced Sites:
U.S.S. Mariner
Senses Five Press

I had fun with this episode, so it’s cool that it’s gotten such a positive response. Even been Boing-Boinged.

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Before talks begin with the Ethelshinn, you will be expected to sacrifice one of two sacred animals. Despite how theatening the Nastenizer looks, choose it. Though it will out weigh you by a good hundred pounds, you have a better chance of defeating it in ritualistic combat.

You just don’t have the grip to handel a Fluffian Cutesy-wootzer.

In the St. Lawrence River, the one that goes from NY to Canada, biologists have discovered pods of beluga whales with cancer. Not just with cancer, but with the highest cancer rates of any wild animal studied. Some of the dead whales are so suffused with pollutants that they qualify as hazardous waste.

Researchers have also found something else in the river: Botulism. Botulism is a disease caused by a bacterial toxin that cause paralysis, and, if not properly treated, death. It’s in the fish, in the birds, the entire wildlife. It’s in the soil.

And it’s beautiful place. Even in the danger area, the “Area of Concern,” as the Environmental Protection Agency calls it. It’s one of the prettiest rivers you’ll see.

This is a river that is still fished in. It is a river that people bring their families to, to boat and swim in. This river, home to toxins, to cancerous animals is frequently swam in by children.

As the world around us becomes slowly poisoned, we are determined to not let it ruin our routines. Guest reader and composer Russell Collins explores this bizarre form of courage in this episode, THE WATER’S FINE.

Russell Collins is a musical composer and singer. In addition to reading the preceding story, he also wrote the performed the score, as well as the VoFPX theme. You can find out more about Russell at www.clockworkaudio.net

“Floating Away” was performed by Folio and was made available curtsey of the of the Podsafe Music Network. You can find out more about them at www.folioband.com.

ALIENS YOU WILL MEET, another fine Free Planet X studios podcast, is going to have a live show at Dragon*Con in Atlanta. Live, real puppets will be enacting a very special extended narration, and I hope to see you there.

Featuring The Quest of the Queen’s Tears from The Book of Wonder, by Lord Dunsany, as read by Steve Eley.

This podcast was recorded live at Balticon 41.Our theme was written and recorded by Russell Collins. Find out more at publicwords.org

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Being unable to speak through yeast, communication with the Drix is going to be difficult at best. I suggest not showering before the metting, in the hopes that you will be carrying enough organisms in order to say “Hello.” You may also wish to bring along some freashly baked bread, in the hopes that it will speak highly of you

The inimitable George Hrab

The Department of Public Words, an organization dedicated to preserving the literary heritage of our culture, is proud to present our first reading and recording in Philadelphia.

In collaboration with Bindlestiff Books (4530 Baltimore Ave, Philadelphia Pa 19143) Public Words will be holding a free reading of works in the public domain at 8:00pm on July 3rd. By holding free readings of works in the public domain, Public Words hopes to share the work that is owned by the public as a part of our literary heritage. Our readings will be recorded and released via podcast, where they will be free to download.

Readers include George Hrab of the Philadelphia Funk Authority and Richard Kalwaic of The Philadelphia Singers.

Bindlestiff Books: http://www.bindlestiffbooks.com/
George Hrab: http://www.geologicrecords.net/
The Philadelphia Funk Authority: http://www.phillyfunk.com/
The Philadelphia Singers: http://www.philadelphiasingers.org/

When: JULY 3rd, 8:00pm
Where: Bindlestiff Books (4530 Baltimore Ave, Philadelphia Pa 19143)
Who: Public Words, George Hrab and Richard Kalwaic
Cost: FREE!

You can hear a recording of our first reading at Balticon on our website: www.publicwords.org

For more information about Public Words please contact publicwords@gmail.com